Top tips for a successful first date

We've seen countless posts and comments from our lovely community in Solo Connects and everyone has a first date story to share. Love them or hate them, we've seen some common first date mistakes. It doesn't matter whether you've met via a dating app (that's cool if you're still using them) or if you've met in real life - which could be 'in the wild' or at a Solo Connects event - these first date top tips will help you to enjoy the dating experience!

Play it cool!

We know you're excited, but first dates are generally an opportunity to get to know somebody a bit deeper. Your objective is to literally see if you'd like to go out and meet them again. Don't get too carried away and start planning your future with them - you don't know how it is going to pan out. Keep the energy light and just be keen to find out more about them.

Keep dates short and simple!

There's lots of 'experts' out there who will tell you that men need to plan an elaborate date to show they are keen on woman, but the easiest thing for a first date is to meet for a coffee or a drink in the pub. Make the date no more than 90 minutes long and stick to it! It's best to make sure your transport is within your control, so make sure you're driving or are able to get to and from your date easily on public transport.

Don't let nerves get the better of you

Dating should be fun, not nerve-wracking. It can be difficult to get into this mindset but think of ways you can relax before your date. Our Solo Supporter Janet (Your Happiness Therapist) who offers trauma informed therapy and coaching would tell you to try to regulate your nervous system before a date with breathing techniques, tapping and even walking.

Keep yourself safe.

Men's greatest fear is being laughed at on a date, a woman's greatest fear is being killed. Sorry to bring the vibe down, but this is true. If you've met someone online, there is even more reason to be careful. Meet someone in a public place, such as a coffee shop or a bar. Do some research before you go so that you know where to park and ideally let a friend know where you are going and at what time.

Don't go back to their house, even if they give you a story about needing to pick up their wallet - if that's the case tell them you'll wait for them while they go back to collect it.

If you're out and you are worried about your safety on a date, speak to the bar staff and Ask For Angela.

Be the chooser, don't wait to be chosen

When you're dating, try to be in a position of power, where you're choosing who you get to date, not the other way around. Make sure you focus on being curious about them and what they do to see if you're compatible - remember you're only objective is to see if you'd like to see them again. You can get to know them more over time - there's no hurry. Try to find areas of common ground such as your values, hopes and dreams for the future. Make sure you're taking time to get to know them to see if THEY are a suitable partner for YOU.

The X Files - don't mention them

That's right, keep your ex out of the conversation. Nobody needs to know your history and definitely don't run your ex's character down on a first date. Keep any information pretty light, such as "I have been single for (specifiy the time) and I have a good relationship with my ex (but only mention this if you co-parent)."

It may not work out - don't let it get you down

Dating is a numbers game, especially if you're looking for someone pretty specific. It's hard to keep your motivation high sometimes, especially when you've been ghosted and catfished. It can make you feel like you're never going to meet someone. But, dating is designed to be fun and it's worthwhile taking a break when it isn't fun any more.

The team at Solo Connects are here to make dating better. Our events are designed to be fun and welcoming, whether you're here for friendship or romance. We make sure you're safe and supported at all times by our team at our events. We've run over 50 events since November 2024 and we've had numerous successful love matches.

Find out more about our events at www.soloconnects.co.uk/events