Daily Mail readers hate women like me!

Many of you may have seen a recent Mail Online article where I was featured telling my story about the long, slow divorce that I went through almost ten years ago.

If you'd like to read the article, you can do that on this link: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-15156291/final-straw-slow-burn-divorce-signs.html

I do PR a lot because I have a lot of experience to share and one of my core values is to help and support others, typically women (but not always) who are stuck in toxic and unfulfilling relationships. I am also in PR groups to help raise awareness of Solo Connects - so a link to a high traffic site on this website is very helpful - so thank you Mail Online.

The story tells readers about my divorce, the straw that broke the camels back, which was 'Currygate' where my ex husband didn't want to come out for a curry. The headline was intentionally provocative, and I'm going to hazard a guess that the majority of people didn't read the entire article, they have judged WOMEN LIKE ME based on a click-bait headline.

We are told never to read the online comments on an outlet such as Mail Online, but I still did. And boy, the commentators did not hold back. They were 80% men in most instances. They ripped into every part of me.

They called me fat (I'm a size 12).

I was wearing 'sisterhood' tshirt - which makes me a feminist (you can be a feminist and still like men).

They think I did it on purpose to steal my exes money (hilarious).

I've ruined my son's life (I haven't, we co-parent well).

I'm a red flag and he had a lucky escape (I hope he's happier than we made each other).

My friends are hideous people (he used to go out with them to flamboyant bars and clubs, yet suddently he doesn't want to come for a curry).

I'm controlling because I had the audacity to ask him to come out for a meal with me and my friends.

Luckily, my self esteem is pretty good and I don't pay attention to the opinions of people who can barely wipe their own arse. They didn't read the article, where I spoke about trying to repair the marriage with therapy. They didn't see the part where we co-parent amicably (this has taken a lot of work and time). They also assume I'm a scrounger or gold-digger - some who read it did mock my two occupations (1 marketing consultant, 2 co-founder of Solo Connects).

They've judged me for being a freeloader (I have never claimed benefits, I set up a business, moved house and got divorced in the six months after currygate). They have failed to acknowledge my intellect, hard work and empathy for others.

They blamed me for marrying a man who enjoyed gaming and lie ins - but when we spoke about this before we got married, he told me that he wouldn't be doing that when we had kids, so I was *sort of OK with that.

The primary response was about how I married someone with traits I didn't like; no question of whether he changed over time (which was absolutely the case). A bit like the question: Why didn't you leave when they hit you? Rather than asking: Why did they hit you?

(I wasn't really, I pushed down my feelings about it, if only I'd listened to myself. I have to take responsibility for my part in that).

I do not waste my time arguing with idiots - so I haven't responded to the idiotic comments.

However, there were a few comments in there that did strike me and that's exactly the reason why I wrote the article and why the Solo Connects mission is so important. It was the women (yes, the women) who said that their husbands behaved the same way. And that was just 'the way it is' and that I should settle for that. How many marriages are based on two people being so indifferent to each other that they can't or won't leave?

And this one got me: "I felt this way for my entire marriage and now I'm 60 and too scared to leave."

This broke my heart. This could have been me. This could have been you too! There is nothing more courageous than leaving something that doesn't serve you any longer. Yes, it's important to make sure you try (we were in therapy for a year - at my instigation) and nobody took their marriage vows more seriously than me.

My primary focus, when I was married, was to act for the good of the family. Yes, I still went out and did nights out with my friends and colleagues; I still had hobbies. But, working together to build a family unit was important to me - yet I was left on my own at weekends and explaining to my friends, yet again, why I was at events on my own and not with him.

I wasn't entirely surprised that the comments section went the way it did - after all, these are people who take time out of their day to troll strangers. And they've commented on the fact that I'm not in a relationship - but if the comments in the Mail Online are representative of the dating pool, then I'll stick with being single, thank you very much.

The commentators aren't the sort of people I'd want to go on a date with, so I certainly won't be taking any notice of their character assasination of me.

My story is more than just a click-bait headline. I never set out to get divorced, but I'm actually really thankful that currygate happened. Otherwise I'd have been in a relationship pushing down my needs. With someone who didn't want to listen to what I was saying and who didn't really care about doing one simple thing to make me happy.

I wasn't asking for too much, I was just asking the wrong person.